Habits
by KatastrophicKat
Summary: Inspired by an overexposure to Quil conversations with my fic twin.. She has to forget him.. Complete for now (One-Shot) but plot bunnies may demand I turn it into a multi
1. Chapter 1

Hello readers! My lovely fic-twin Lady Kathryn unknowingly inspired this. It is currently a O/S but the plot bunnies may demand more.. Without further ado...

**Habits **

**A Quil/Bella One-Shot **

(~_~_~_~_~_~)

Spend my days locked in a haze  
>Trying to forget you babe<br>I fall back down  
>Gotta stay high all my life<br>To forget I'm missing you  
>Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh<p>

(~_~_~_~_~_~)

It was worse than ever before..

First, Edward had left her. She'd been sad of course, but for some reason she had seemed to drown in the after-shock of it. Jacob helped piece her together but then he left too. They'd held each other together when Embry just took off with Sam Uley's gang..

She thought when Jacob left, she'd at least still have Quil.. Oh Quil.

Quil had quickly become important to her. One year was all it had taken to take her from broken to Bella again. Jacob, Quil and Embry had been with her for the first six months through nightmares and cold chills that had invaded her, almost like a sinkhole of life. Charlie, being the absentee father that he was, agreed the trio of young men could stay as long as they behaved. He'd known them since diapers and trusted them completely.. But then they all started to disappear. Three months of Embry being gone and them all banding together, trying to have faith he would come back..

And for the last three months it was just her and Quil. Jacob was gone. They'd seen him hanging around with Embry, which could only mean he too had joined Sam's gang. She and Quil had leaned on each other. They'd both lost two friends, and been left with each other.

Somewhere in those three months alone, Bella had fallen in love with Quil. He was the total package. He was attractive, funny and even smart when he wanted to be. He knew how to sit in silence (though he couldn't sit still) while Bella was reading. He washed the dishes when she cooked so she could relax. He ran his fingers through her hair after a nightmare and greeted her with a cup of coffee in the mornings. Jake and Quil had cleaned out one of the old storage rooms (full of Renee's crap she had left behind) and made it into a crash pad for them. Quil still stayed there. He even kept it tidy so Bella wouldn't be tempted to clean up any messes in there.

Though the sting of Embry and Jacob leaving was still there, Quil was like a soothing balm. She seemed to do anything to make him laugh, enjoying the way it coursed through her like electricity. Quil made her feel alive and a little less damaged.

On her graduation, Jacob and Embry had sent Bella a bouquet of flowers. It was sitting on the porch when they went to leave.. And Bella had burst into tears. The card was the standard 'Best Wishes and Congrats' and wasn't even signed by them directly. It was worse than if they had sent nothing at all. Quil had gotten rid of the offending floral arrangement and held Bella close to him the entire way to her school. Bella had calmed at his scent and his ever present warmth.. Charlie had no comment.

After dinner at The Lodge, Charlie had been called in to the station. The Chief was always on call and Bella was used to it. He'd dropped Bella and Quil off and left..

Perhaps if he had stayed, things would be slightly better. Perhaps if he had never let the guys become such a large part of her, Bella would be fine.. But she's not any longer.

(~_~_~_~)

Bella returned home and noted that the house was entirely empty. She was alone, as usual.. Perfect.

She went up to her room, threw open her window and sat down on the bench she'd gotten that made it look almost like a window box. She reached in her jacket and pulled out the pill bottle full of joints she had just purchased from Mike Newton. She never thought in school he would be good for anything but eh, she didn't have the best track record of being right when it came to who to trust..

She slouched down in the window, staring out at the trees and rain as she lit up. She grabbed the remote for her stereo and hit the power button, she words of "Habits" by Tove Lo filling the room. She had the whole album, but she whole point had been that one song..

She started feeling the lift of her high after about three full inhale/exhales of the herb and felt mellow, almost normal..

Mary-Jane had quickly become her friend. It locked her in a haze that made their abandonment bareable. She sometimes paired it with alcohol when she had the extra cash, but she didn't like feeling like she was going to be sick and then the lovely herb preventing it... No fun.

"Spend my days locked in a haze, trying to forget you babe.." She whisper sang, exhaling her last hit slowly before gently putting out the halfer and placing it back in her bottle. Had the house not already smelled a bit musty due to the rain, she was sure Charlie would have known about her habit..

She leaned her head against the window frame and let the music and high carry her away.. Unfortunately, she strayed somewhere she didn't want to be.. Memories...

_Quil, brushing her hair behind her ear with that adorable smile of his.._

_Quil, tickling her in order to gain control of the television remote.._

She shook her head, trying to dispel the memories. She knew what would have came next. She pulled the halfer out, intending to bliss herself out. A hollow feeling was starting to well up within her and she couldn't take it. She knew why..

She moved to lay on her bed, smirking at the little smoke rings she would make in the air as she stared at the ceiling. It was a good thing she could still lay in this bed.. She couldn't even go in the 'guest room' anymore. She hadn't been able to since...

_Quil flipped the lock on the front door out of habit as Bella kicked off her graduation shoes with a groan. She tossed her cap and gown on the couch and motioned to her dress, "I'm going to get out of this thing. I haven't been in an actual dress since Alice and it irks me that the only one I actually wanted to wear to graduation was FROM her."_

_Quil nodded, "I'm gonna change too. Dress clothes totally cramp my style."_

_Bella giggled, "At least you didn't say swag. I hate that word."_

"_If I ever say swag, please.. take me out with a baseball bat."_

"_Deal."_

_Bella changed into a black pair of yoga pants and a black racer-back tanktop. She wiped the light makeup off her face and was in the process of taking her hair down on the way to Quil's room._

_She stopped in her tracks after she kneed the door open. It hadn't been entirely closed. Quil always closed the door when he was unavailable. Then again, she also always knocked. Why didn't she knock?_

_It wasn't as if she'd never seen Quil without a shirt, but it had been awhile. She felt like her world was going almost in slow motion. The door opened to reveal Quil clad in a pair of low-rise black jeans, the waistband of his forest green boxers peeking over the rim as he went to pull off his dress shirt, revealing the black wife-beater he had on underneath.. And his very toned upper half. He had gained definition somewhere.. Where..? She caught a flash of abs before he was turning, surprised to see her there as he tossed the dress shirt on his bed. His heart started beating a little faster as her hair fell down in golden chestnut waves when he looked at her.._

"_Bells? You okay?"_

_It was as if she had no control over herself.. She stepped forward and traced the contours of his arm muscles, "Uhm.."_

_He tensed slightly and she felt her insides flutter when his body flexed. "Bells...?"_

_Their eyes met.. Her warm carmel color meeting his dark chocolate color.. Her breath caught in her throat. Her heart was pounding so loud. "Quil."_

_She didn't know who moved first, and she honestly didn't care. All she knew was that she was kissing Quil with every bit of feeling she had in her. His hands were locked in her hair, her body was almost fused to his and he tasted like the peppermints he had been sucking on from The Lodge. A thrill went through her when she ran her fingers along his waistband and then under his shirt, discovering the abs she had never known he had- he hadn't had them last time. _

_A soft moan from Bella entered Quil's mind and he broke away from her, panting as if he'd just run a marathon.. But he didn't let her go. He didn't move away. _

"_Bells.. We have to stop this. I care for you, maybe a little more than I should considering.. If we don't stop now.."_

"_Don't stop." She whispered against his lips, shocking him._

"_What?"_

"_I said- Don't stop. I don't want you to stop, Quil. I want you."_

_He looked almost pained, "I can't lose you as a friend, Bells..."_

"_You aren't losing a friend. You're gaining something much better." She purred. _

_Quil's resolve snapped. She heard the door slam closed as she was pressed against it. It was almost frenzied as they dueled for dominance. Finally, he spun her and pressed her into his mattress. There was the sound of straining and then ripping fabric, the coolness of the air on her bare skin and then nothing but waves and waves of pleasure. Her moans filled the room with delicious sounds as Quil's fingers brushed up against secret places inside of her and his tongue stroked her ever higher. _

_She was vaguely aware of him talking dirty to her, but she couldn't answer. She just kept burning, flying higher and higher. "Let go, Bella!" He ordered and she was done for, moaning his name and gripping his sheets, bucking against his tongue as he greedily lapped up everything she had to give. _

_She felt him move over her, between her legs and she welcomed his weight there. "I can't be gentle." He growled in her ear, rubbing his silky thickness against her swollen folds. "Last chance to back out."_

_All she could do was shake her head. She crashed their lips down as he plunged into her. She was aware of the new tangy taste of her own essence but all thoughts were swept away as he hitched her leg up higher. Bella became intimately aquainted with the phrase 'pounded into the mattress' as he moved within her. She felt herself about to climax again, but this time Quil was rubbing against her clit and practically begging her to cum with him. She had no choice but to comply. She was flying, seeing stars and holding onto Quil for dear life, feeling the wet heat of him emptying inside her. _

_As she came down, nestled in his arms, she heard him.. "I love you, Bells. I love you so much."_

_She placed a kiss over his heart, "I love you too, Quil."_

Tears rolled down her eyes without permission as she stared at the ceiling. She had loved him, had given herself to him. They had talked about a life together, had made love so many times in his bed.. Now he was gone.

She heard the howl of a wolf, sounding almost as heartbroken as her. Quil was gone... And without Quil.. She was nothing.

"I've gotta stay high, all the time. To forget I'm missing you..." She whispered to her ceiling, the roach from her joint, long since burned out, falling from her fingers and [luckily for her] into the cracks of her floorboard..


	2. NOTE

I am simply blown away at the response this story has gotten! I WILL be turning this into a multi chap story. It will not be called Habits. Be on the look out! Follow me so you'll get the alert directly to your boxes.

I hope you all have a fabulous day, week, month of your life! Hope to see you in other works.

-KatastrophicKat


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